Die World!


I just talked to the president about our near-bottom position on the world happiness index. He believes this is a sinister terrorist ploy. He said, “I am the happiest guy on earth. And I represent the people. We are all very happy, trigger happy. We love war. I am sure they rigged the votes to put US at number 150 in happiness. I know how it is done, if you get my drift.”

He said, “This will not stand. I am asking Chain-y to wipe out the 149 countries ahead of us. And, just to make sure that no one but no one sneaks ahead of us, we shall preemptively attack and destroy all the countries below us as well. We shall remain number 1 forever.”

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